It was all Merlin's fault
by Archaeologist
Summary: It really was all Merlin's fault that they were tied to the tree with enchanted vines. Match-making enchanted vines.


**Pairing:** Merlin/Arthur  
 **Tropes used:** handcuffed/ bound together  & forced proximity  
 **Summary** It really was all Merlin's fault that they were tied to the tree with enchanted vines. Match-making enchanted vines.  
 **Warnings** Crack. Could be considered dub-con by some as the vines made them do it, sort of.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; They and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Arthur blamed Merlin for it. Honestly, the man was a menace at times.

But as the vines tightened a bit and Merlin gave a little grunt of something against Arthur's neck, Arthur might have to revisit that thought. Menace wasn't the half of it.

At least Merlin didn't try and wiggle out of it. It was his fault after all.

Confined by ropy vines, hard-pressed against each other and an incredibly uncomfortable tree, Arthur didn't see how they were going to get free. With every movement, the plants—they must have been enchanted to capture them so quickly—just pulled them closer together, making it difficult to escape. Arthur couldn't even reach his sword, and the brainless idiot with his oh-so-clumsy fingers had already dropped the knife.

Arthur didn't know how they kept getting into these messes. It had to be Merlin's doing.

He must have said something because Merlin just muttered, "Wasn't."

"Shut up, Merlin. If I say you are to blame, then you are." He wanted to pull back and glare at Merlin but they were too tightly bound. He could feel every shift of Merlin's body, his breathing, the way his chest hitched when Arthur tried to move. It was disconcerting. It was giving him thoughts he'd never had before and wasn't that just ludicrous when Arthur should have been focusing on the danger and not on Merlin's bony hips. They were alone, trapped by vines, without weapons, and no one even knew that they'd left the citadel so no one would be looking for them yet. It was a mess.

"If you hadn't startled me…."

"How is me shouting at you to watch out where you were going my fault?" The silence was deafening. "That's what I thought."

Merlin gave another little huff, a warm, annoyed breath against Arthur's neck but shut up after all.

The idiot was supposed to doing his chores, not traipsing off looking for flowers or herbs or whatever the hell he did when he wasn't at the tavern—and that was another thing he'd be discussing with his girl's petticoat of a servant once they were free of the trap.

So it wasn't exactly Arthur's fault that he'd finally given up being a kind and generous master and followed the idiot into the woods, thinking to chastise him once he found out where he was going so often.

Because Arthur didn't really believe him when he said he'd been out in the forest.

Too many times, when he'd returned from his 'collecting herbs', there had been no tell-tale leaf stains on Merlin's hands and no tree sap in his hair.

Much as Merlin might say otherwise, Arthur wasn't a fool.

Usually when they were out on patrol, by the time they were done, Merlin would be grotty with dirt and green splotches and there was always, always something foresty in his hair. Arthur supposed it was all that rolling around in the mud, trying to hide when bandits inevitably turned up but still, Merlin couldn't keep clean to save his life.

Yet, Merlin would disappear into the woods at times and come back relatively unscathed.

It was a mystery. Arthur didn't like mysteries.

So following him seemed the best course since Merlin, open book though he claimed, was just too damned secretive for Arthur. Plus Merlin would usually trip over his own feet but he was surprising quiet as he moved further and further away from the citadel.

But why he had been going toward the Darkling Woods when everyone knew it was full of terrible things, cockatrices and feral bears and mad sorcerers, was beyond Arthur. Merlin should have been running the other way, or, better yet, safely in Arthur's room doing his damn job.

Instead they were both caught in some kind of magic trap with vines and branches stabbing into Arthur's back and Merlin's front wiggling against his. It was maddening.

Trying not to move too much, he could feel Merlin's cheek resting against his collarbone and there was a little hitch in the idiot's breathing.

Arthur went still. He hoped that Merlin wasn't about to start crying or anything. It might have been Merlin's fault but they'd need to get out somehow and bawling wasn't going to be a help. The man was just too soft-hearted for his own good.

While Arthur had tried to toughen him up with insults and occasionally tossing things at Merlin's head, he didn't really mean it; he just didn't know what to do with everything that Merlin made him feel: tenderness, a sense of purpose, annoyance bordering on love, an all-abiding swell of protection in Arthur's chest. The fact that Merlin gave back as good as he got just made things worse—or better, depending.

It was all so confusing.

He didn't know what to do so, of course, he put his foot in it. "You aren't crying, are you? If you get my tunic all snotty, I'll put you in the stocks for a month."

Realizing too late that he might have softened his voice a bit, he wasn't surprised when Merlin rubbed his face against his tunic. "Yes, my lord, of course, my lord, you are a prat, my lord."

"Well, you'll have to clean it, you know, so don't be a girl about it." Arthur shoved his shoulder closer to Merlin's face, trying to rub whatever disgusting thing Merlin had left back into his idiot's skin. But all Merlin did was laugh a little and butt his nose into Arthur's neck. It felt good and in other circumstances, Arthur would be enjoying his growing interest in Merlin's warmth. But that wasn't going to get them free. "Do you know why the vines attacked us? Seems a bit odd."

Merlin gave a little snort, then tightened his arms around Arthur's waist, and shoving his tunic aside, gave Arthur's skin a little pinch. "Maybe they just wanted to see how fat you were."

If he didn't know any better, he would swear that Merlin was very interested in more than just getting free; he seemed to be flirting, rather heavily if Arthur were any judge. He'd seen the knights do it often enough.

Disconcerted, liking the idea far more than he'd thought he would, he said, "I am fighting fit!" When Merlin just nudged him again, Arthur tried to wiggle out of pinching range but it was impossible. Finally, he gave up and sighed, a long drawn-out princely sigh. "And they grabbed you and tied the both of us up together… because?"

"Maybe they are love vines. To help people find each other."

Merlin's fingers smoothed over the place he'd been pinching, his skin warm against Arthur's. It felt really good, too good, so good in fact that it took him a moment to realize what Merlin had said. And then it was all he could do not to yell in Merlin's ear at the absurd idea.

"Love vines? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." He butted his head hard against Merlin's, trying to drive some sense into him. Not that it would ever work. "Vines that go around and tie people in love up?"

"What's wrong with that? It's as good an explanation as any." He sounded almost hurt, the idiot.

Trying to be as patient as he could, he said, "For one thing, vines don't usually travel well. For another, we aren't in love. Much as I accuse you of it, you are not actually a girl."

"So you can only love a girl?"

Oh, the hurt was hard in Merlin's voice. It made Arthur's throat close a little and a swell of affection threatened to overwhelm him. "Merlin, what are you talking about?"

"Never mind." A little shake of that black mop of his, silky soft against Arthur's jaw, and Merlin was pulling away as much as he could, considering how trapped they were.

"So you are saying that there are vines that travel around Camelot and tie people in love up until they come to their senses and admit it?"

It was really an absurd idea but he'd indulged Merlin before. If it made him feel better about the situation, and as long as Arthur didn't look a fool for it, he was willing to let Merlin prattle on.

"Exactly… well, ummm, I think they'd have to be enchanted first."

"The people or the vines?" He wanted to laugh. Once they got free, he'd never let Merlin live it down.

"The vines, of course. Vines don't travel well."

"That's exactly what I just said." He put a little indignation into his voice just for effect. The whole conversation was so surreal that he could hardly believe it. But danger or not, he was secretly enjoying it. "Merlin, sometimes you are just a complete idiot."

"Oi! Okay then, you come up with an explanation."

Arthur pushed against him, a quick hard shove, and then he leaned back against the tree, the vine-tied Merlin following him. Arthur would have liked to ignore the growing warmth between them; his body was enjoying Merlin's far too much and no matter what he tried to quell it, it wasn't working. Worse, there was no way to hide it. So instead, trying to keep his distance and throw a bit of princely pique into the situation, he said, "It's a trick to drive me mad by having to listen to the babblings of my very strange servant at very close range."

When Merlin didn't say anything, just hummed as if wanting to shout at Arthur but knowing it would do no good, Arthur said, "So do you have any idea of how to get us out of this mess?"

"Well, since you scoffed at my love vine answer, we'll probably starve to death or be eaten by wolves. That should do the trick."

Merlin couldn't really see his face but he must have felt Arthur's grin because he pushed against his cheek, nudging it a bit.

Arthur was losing whatever control of the situation he had left, not that he had any at all to begin with. "Your answer was patently ridiculous but since I don't prefer to be starved or eaten, perhaps you have read something in those books of Gaius'. Something about predator foliage and how to defeat it?"

"I've been trying to remember. But it's not like I can concentrate with your chest all puffed up and a few other princely bits showing interest, too."

Oh, dear. Merlin wasn't going to ignore it, then.

"It's a reaction to the danger we are in. Nothing else." He tried to make it sound like it happened every day and that it was merely a bodily function but they both knew better. When Merlin rocked into him, a not-so-subtle movement of hips and hardness, Arthur couldn't leave it alone either. "And it's not like your bits aren't getting a bit rigid as well. Jabbing me in my… it's most uncomfortable."

"That I'm jabbing or that you can't do anything about it." There was laughter in Merlin's voice. And a bit of daring, too.

"I most certainly can do something about it." Arthur could never back down from a challenge, especially one as dangerous and exciting as this.

"I'd like to see you try."

"All right, then, I will." Letting his body do the talking, rubbing and touching and demanding as much as he could with vines tight against him, it didn't take long.

"Oh, I can feel your bits taking more than a little interest." Merlin's breath was hot against his skin and it felt good, so damn good.

"And your bits are a handful, if I could get my hand free." He meant to make it a joke, to lighten whatever was going on between them but instead, impossibly, the vines loosened around his hand, enough that if he had wanted to touch Merlin, it would have been easy and oh so good.

But he had to focus on the danger, get them out of there somehow. Tamping down whatever arousal he was feeling, he said, "Merlin, do the vines understand what we are saying?"

"Maybe, I think…." Merlin seemed puzzled, confused but then his voice grew more decisive. "Let's find out." He pushed into Arthur's palm, rocking a little and said, "I'd love to find out if your bits will fit into my hand." And as the vines around his hands fell free, the grin in his voice was clear. "Oh, they must."

And then he brushed his fingertips across Arthur's very interested if clothed cock.

Merlin's touch was glorious but they needed to get away. They might be trapped forever otherwise. So Arthur, still rocking into Merlin's hand, said, "I'd like to try and kiss you but I'm stuck." He didn't move his head towards Merlin's, just waited for the vines to listen and let them go. But it didn't work. The plants remained around them, binding them both to the tree.

Frowning, Arthur said, "Do you think I have to actually try and kiss you to make it work?"

"I think so." Merlin nodded slowly. Leaning in, he breathed into Arthur's ear and then pulled on his lobe with sharp teeth. Arthur gave a quick gasp, the pleasure of it jolting through him. A little snicker, playful and full of promise, he whispered, "I'd like to kiss you, Arthur, but my hands need to be free."

Around Merlin, the vines fell from his hands. Grabbing onto Arthur's face, he gave him a quick kiss, then a longer one, turning shameless before finally pulling away.

"It worked! Let me try." Happy that they had a method for escape, nevertheless, Arthur was breathing heavy, little sparks of want shivering up his spine. He didn't need the vines to force him to say, "I want to touch your face and nibble on your collarbone."

But it helped. The vines loosened further, falling to their waists, their hands and arms free. For a moment, Arthur wanted nothing more than to give into whatever this was.

"We are mostly free. Do you think you can wiggle out of the rest of them?" Luckily Merlin had a cooler head on his shoulders. At the moment. Arthur would never say it out loud nor acknowledge it once they escaped but Merlin was really quite intelligent, a born leader and one Arthur might follow in other times, other places. But as a prince, he could never let Merlin know.

Instead he said, "I want to shag you. Pull you down and find out just how soft that skin of yours is. Drive you wild with desire, listen to you beg me for release, and know that you are always mine."

It worked. The vines fell away and they were free. It was both a relief, and in some ways, a misery that it could never be more than this, that once they were away, they'd have to go back to some semblance of what they'd been. That what he'd said was true and also the blackest lie.

But Merlin didn't know that, it would seem. He was still eager for kisses and more. Pulling Arthur close, giving him another wanton kiss, he said, "We're out. Let's go before they change their mind."

"Merlin…." But he couldn't say it, not there, not with Merlin touching his skin, smiling at him as if he'd been given the moon and stars. Instead he nodded and let Merlin led him away.

There must have been enough in Arthur's words to placate the vines. They did not follow them, although how plants could find them again was beyond his understanding and at the moment, he did not want to understand anything. It was bad enough that Merlin kept looking at him, growing quieter and loosening his grip as they left the glade.

Finally, when they were far enough away that the danger was past, Merlin let go entirely. He stood there, frowning at Arthur as if wondering about what they'd just been through and not liking the answer. "It was a lie, wasn't it? What you said."

"It was dishonourable of me but we were both forced to say and do things in order to get away." He felt ashamed to have to lie again. He wanted Merlin now, wanted his kisses again, wanted all of him and it had taken some magical plants and danger to realize it. He didn't know if it was a true thing or not but it felt that way, as true as any emotion he'd ever experienced.

"So you didn't want to?"

The pain in Merlin's voice cut through Arthur like a sword-thrust and that made his answer sharper than he would have wished. "I don't want some damn vines telling me what to do."

"You have duties and you don't feel that about me." Merlin nodded his head, turned away looking off toward the citadel. "Just so you know and we'll never talk about it again." He squared his shoulders, looked at Arthur with all the courage of a king, and said, "But it was true for me. Always will be."

When Arthur just stood there, gaping at him, Merlin said, sorrow-tinged but resolute, "We should leave, sire. They must be worried about you by now."

Arthur couldn't let this go, not when he was the coward in all this. As Merlin turned away, started to walk toward Camelot, Arthur stopped him. Stepping closer, one hand cupping Merlin's cheek, his eyes wide and looking as wounded as Arthur had ever seen him, he said, "I can't promise… really anything, not while I'm prince, but it was true. It is true and between us, I think we can find a way. If you want."

The sun in Merlin's smile was blinding. "Oh, I want."

"Me, too." Arthur leaned in, gave Merlin a thorough kiss, promises of much more to come. Then he stepped back, waved his hand toward the trees behind them. "We still have to destroy the vines. They were enchanted and we can't have sorcery in Camelot."

"Okay. Although they may be gone by now. I think the enchantment only lasts until a true heart finds it. Or something." He managed to look sheepish and a bit guilty. If Arthur didn't know Merlin so well, he'd have thought his almost-lover up to mischief.

"That sounds suspiciously like it was your fault we got trapped by vines. But while you are an idiot and a girl's petticoat and a complete daffodil at times, you are not stupid enough to learn magic and enchant love vines just to get me into bed, are you?"

Merlin stood there frowning a moment, seeming to think about it, and then he grinned and shook his head. "Nah."

"That's what I thought." Merlin was impossible but Arthur wouldn't have it any other way. "So my chambers, tonight? Bring wine."

"Should I bring rope, too?" Merlin's grin turned wicked, raising his eyebrows, his dimples clear as he seemed to fight laughing out loud.

"You are very strange." Arthur shook his head, then reached out and grabbed Merlin's neck, pulled him in for another kiss. With tongue. The man was wanton indeed, melting into his touch, eager for anything Arthur demanded of him, it would seem. He felt as if it could be the start of something legendary; he couldn't wait to find out. "Maybe. We'll see how it goes."

And it went very well indeed.


End file.
